#winter of artifice by anaïs nin

[elvendeity]

"I'm only asking for strength for my days. Teach me the art of small steps."

1 @soracities || 2, 3 shanna van maurik || 4 winter of artifice by anaïs nin || 5 hermann hesse, in an excerpt from hermann hesse on little joys, breaking the trance of busyness, and the most important habit for living with presence, the marginalian || 6 café terrace at night (place du forum, arles), Vincent van Gogh || 7 oamul lu || 8 leaves, lloyd Schwartz || 8 tony kushner, angels in america || 10 dead poets society || 11 a prayer, antoine de saint-exupéry 

reading lists and more

[jessaerys]

the word father rotted in my mouth: i. tom stoppard, rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead. ii. nurnehpetsnur iii. anne carson, plainwater: essays and poetry iv. see notes. v. see notes. vi. genesis 4:9 vii. anaïs nin, winter of artifice viii. see notes. ix. slider.xxxxxxxx x. josh alex baker, death wish. xi. see notes. xii. eric larocca, things have gotten worse since we last spoke xiii. death note, c-kira one-shot. xiv. leah horlick, for your own good, xv. death note manga, L's death, mello's death. xvi. ocean vuong, someday i'll love, xvii. woyaocharlie xviii. death note short stories, a-kira one-shot. xix. anna belle kaufman, cold solace.

notes under the cut.

*iv. artist notoriously hard to track, there's several images on pinterest that are clearly the same style, tried with all of them and they all seem to come from a long deleted 2008 photobucket folder.

v. & viii. the oldest source seems to be long-deleted posts from this blog, which were re-posts.

xi. this is the only source i can find but i don't think it leads to the artist ): please hmu if you have any leads about all of these.

part of the mine and the bestie’s delusional headcanon that near and mello (& matt) did have somewhat of a mentor/mentee relationship with L (fuck them other kids….) whom although genuinely fond of them was a willing participant in the amoral watari industrial complex (did he care to be succeeded? did he find it amusing or an interesting long term project? were the tests and mindfuckery and hot/cold unpredictable behavior and purposeful sowing of a rivalry between them the only model of family and mentorship he knew and was capable of? did he ever really love them? will they ever know? etc etc etc.)

i’m handwaving away the “we only talked to L once” story as skillfully edited by near because 1. he loves to lie and 2. his complicated relationship with L and subsequent grief AND resentment is still wrapped in seventeen thousand layers of emotional repression and who wants to get into that. 3. also makes mello’s comments in LABB about not caring if near is hurt that he knows more about L than near does way funnier. sibling behavior

anyway the both of them have a brotherfatherhero complex the size of TEXAS but thankfully they can sublimate that in the bedroom through creative kinky means. i know the usual "don't ship them!" rethoric is that they're foster brothers but unfortunately that just makes them a billion times more compelling. to me

[mdemn]

oh my brother, my brother, who have you became in the wake of all that’s happened here?

xaviero falcone - avet @tankgotstuckinthecircusgate, brother by the interstate - k.c cramm, winter of artifice - anaïs nin, ghost of - diana nguyen, hevel - nathaniel orion g.k, brother by the interstate - k.c cramm, carlo falcone - avet, icarus - the crane wives

buy me a ko-fi? ☕️

[vilelilly]

I stopped loving my father a long time ago. What remained was the slavery to a pattern. When I saw him I thought I would be happy and exalted. I pretended. I worked myself up into ecstasies. When one is pretending the entire body revolts.

Anaïs Nin, Winter of Artifice

[playthingsam]

Anaïs Nin, Winter of Artifice

[amiablesummer]

I want, I want, I want.

1. Tiana Clark, from "Maybe in Another Life" // 2. Emily Henry, from "Happy Place" // 3. Holly Warburton // 4. @lena-oleanderson // 5. Zinaida Voysota Docenko // 6. pinterest // 7. Anna Haifisch // 8. Leo Berne // 9. Ethel Cain, “Sun-bleached Flies” // 10. Anaïs Nin, from “Winter of Artifice” // 11. pinterest // 12. AURORA, “This Could Be A Dream”// 13. mine // 14. Andrés Kal, detail from “How Long Must I Wait”// 15. mine // 16. Aimee Wai

[atopvisenyashill]

notes on the abandoned child

catelyn vi, a clash of kings / gravel to tempo, hayley kiyoko / the heirs of the dragon, house of the dragon / the winter of artifice, anaïs nin / and now his watch has ended, game of thrones / the body electric, hurray for riff raff / what is dead may never die, game of thrones / a better sondaughter, rilo kiley / script for the black queen / you win or you die, game of thrones / tyrion vi, a storm of swords / alayne ii, a feast for crows / the rogue prince, house of the dragon / driftmark, house of the dragon / under my skin, jukebox the ghost / jaime i, a feast for crows / terminallytwee / the princess and the queen, house of the dragon / the heirs of the dragon, fire and blood / scribblymouse / king jaehaerys with alicent hightower, doug wheatley / catelyn x, a game of thrones / cersei vi, a feast for crows / the wolf and the lion, game of thrones / claws part ii, typhoon / the green council, house of the dragon

[deanjohn]

Anaïs Nin, Winter of Artifice | Kathryn Harrison, The Kiss

[petaltexturedskies]

I want to consume the whole world, devour it, chew it to pieces, and spit it out again—fresh, terrible, beautiful, alive in all its parts, alive and singing.

Anaïs Nin, Winter of Artifice

[karamamazov]

the vampire armand - anne rice // winter of artifice - anaïs nin

[frankensteincest]

MARY SHELLEY, Matilda | ANAÏS NIN, Winter of Artifice

[elvendeity]

Winter of Artifice by Anaïs Nin

[dearorpheus]

hello madi, hope you're well 🤍 was wondering if you have a reading / watch list for bones and all (2022)? been thinking about this film again.

hi sweetheart. am plagued by this film as well.

The Edible Woman by Margaret Atwood The Vegetarian by Han Kang Woman, Eating by Claire Kohda Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z. Brite The Road by Cormac McCarthy Lila by Marilynne Robinson The Cannibal’s Canción by Gloria Anzaldúa Winter of Artifice by Anaïs Nin—"I felt myself caught in the immense jaws of his desire, felt myself dissolving, ripping open to his descent. I felt myself yielding up to his dark hunger. An immense jaw closing upon my feelings, my feelings smouldering, rising from me like smoke from a black mass. [...] He is not concerned to know whether I can live or breathe within the dark cavern of his whale-like being, within the whale-belly of his ego." "Love of the Wolf" from Cixous' Stigmata:

Carson's Eros the Bittersweet:

can i say Bazterrica's Tender is the Flesh? Süskind's Perfume? Lévi-Strauss' We Are All Cannibals—"and after all, the most simple means to identify others with oneself is to eat them"—?

reaching..... can i say Kristeva's Powers of Horror?

^sort of re: the oral stage of psychic development

Amy Heneveld's words on the recurrent motif of cannibalism in medieval French literature, categorised (by Stith Thompson) as The Eaten Heart:

then, for films: Badlands (1973) dir. Terrence Malick Natural Born Killers (1994) dir. Oliver Stone Caníbal (2013) dir. Manuel Martín Cuenca The Lure (2015) dir. Agnieszka Smoczynska—"What if you fall in love?" "Don't be silly." "Would you eat him?" Hiroshima Mon Amour (1959) dir. Alain Resnais—"I like you. How unlikely. I like you. How slow all of a sudden. How sweet. You cannot know. You're destroying me. You're good for me. You're destroying me. You're good for me. I have time. Please, devour me."

[89rooms]

Let him now measure the strength of this love he destroyed. I feel nothing. Nothing. He has killed my love so completely I do not even suffer. I never saw a man who could kill a love so completely.

Anaïs Nin - 'Stella; Winter of Artifice: Three Novelettes.'

[vilelilly]

What do you remember? What image do you have of me? What have you been? Are we strangers, with twenty years between us? Does your blood obey me? Have I made you? Are you my daughter? Are you my father? Have we dreamed? Are we real? Is our life real? Is anything real? Are we here? Do I understand you?

Anaïs Nin, Winter of Artifice

[diorstarr]

supernatural | anaïs nin, winter of artifice